It’s hard to believe that it’s already been a year since that surreal day I became paralyzed and spent the whole day in and out of various imaging tests trying to solve the mystery of what happened to me.
When my kids talk about those two weeks I was hospitalized, they are so sure it was two months, not weeks! It’s been interesting, as I’ve processed what happened to me, to hear their processing as well. We are still so thankful for all the people who helped us during those first few weeks with meals and other help. It was a hard season that felt so much longer than it really was.
As I said in my last post, I’m now adjusting my heart and mind to the reality of the permanence of my condition. I pray for healing, and at the same time I pray for the grace and strength to continue trusting God if He chooses not to heal me. There are days that I wrestle more with it, but for the most part I have peace. I’m so thankful to be as recovered as I am.
I’m part of an online group of women who all have TM, and some of them are a decade or more after their injury. It’s inspiring to see and hear how they have been fighting for their strength for many years.
I’m still asked regularly what my ongoing symptoms and struggles are. In no particular order…
- Constant nerve pain. I can usually tune it out, but it never actually goes away.
- Tightness and extra pain behind my knees when I straighten my legs to stand after sitting.
- Weakness and balance issues with my right leg. This includes random muscles in my core, glutes, hamstrings, and calves that are firing but barely there.
- Bladder disfunction. I’ve only shared about this a little on here before, but basically my bladder doesn’t empty on its own so I have to use a catheter.
- No sensation or regulation of temperature from my mid-back down. I can’t feel temperature on my legs and I also can’t sweat or shiver to help regulate. This makes extreme hot and cold conditions very challenging for me.
As I look forward into the next year and beyond, I’m making goals and figuring out what I need to do to accomplish them. I’m working on losing some weight because the more sedentary lifestyle I’ve had this past year hasn’t been healthy for my body. I’m using Trim Healthy Mama as a framework for eating better and trying to get more consistent with walking. I’m still meeting with my physical therapist every other week, but will be phasing that out at the end of the year. I’m meeting with a personal trainer next week in hopes of moving forward in that way toward becoming more strong.
I’m also working on other goals in my life that pull my focus away from my crazy body issues. Over the past few months, Mark and I have redone our downstairs bathroom and our pantry, making them both more beautiful and more useful. This next year we plan on redoing a few other things in our house as well.
I’m also just about ready to release my first complete year-long Shabbat school curriculum out into the world in just another week! This has been a labor of love for a couple of years and will be followed with 2 more years of curriculum.
Working on a few creative projects has helped me stay sane and see results in other areas of my life this past year which has been really helpful for my emotional well-being.
As life moves on, I plan to continue to press on towards the goals I’ve set and the things God has called me to. What else can I do for the One who made me, saved me, and calls me His?